Kitchen merphology

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O'Reilly Kitchen Law

Cleanliness is something of the impossible.

Seven Laws of Kitchen Mess

1. None of the accessories in a multi-purpose food processor will work properly.


The more expensive the harvester, the less often it is used.

2. The simpler the instruction (for example, "Click here"), the more difficult it is to find where to click.

3. In a family recipe just found in an old cookbook, the unit of measure for the main ingredient will be illegible.

4. If the dish is already spoiled, whatever you add to save it will only make matters worse.

5. People are always delighted with the dish that required the least effort in preparation. Example: If you cooked a duck with apples, then you will receive compliments for baked potatoes.

6. If you had to specifically go to the store for some product, then your guest will be allergic to it.

7. The more time and effort you put into preparing a meal, the more likely guests are to discuss other previous dinners all the time.

Evening Reception Law

The more food you cook, the less your guests will eat.

Alice Hammond's Kitchen Laws

1. The soufflé rises and whips only when preparing a family meal or dinner for guests you don't really want to invite.

2. If there is only one spoiled egg among the eggs, then you will break it into the cake dough.

3. It is worth putting some kind of kitchen utensils into the dishwasher, as they are immediately needed; If you've used a liquid measuring cup, you'll need it right away to measure something dry.

4. The time taken to consume food is inversely proportional to the time it takes to prepare it.

5. Whatever dish you cook, it turns out that your guest ate it at breakfast.

Housewife laws

1. If you are in doubt whether you took the meat out of the freezer to defrost it, then you forgot to do it.

2. If you do not remember whether you turned off the coffee maker, then you did not turn it off.

3. If you decide to go along the way for bread and eggs, thinking that they are not at home, then they will be at home.

4. If you are in doubt whether there is enough money for lunch with your family at a restaurant, then it will not be enough.

Hamilton's Glassware Washing Rule

The speck you are trying to scrape off is always on the other side.


If the stain is inside, then it is impossible to reach it.

Yeager's Law

Washing machines only break down during the washing process.


All breakdowns occur on the day the technician has a day off.

Walker's Household Law

There is always more dirty laundry than clean laundry.

Cleave's refutation of Walker's Law

If it is clean, it is not linen.

Banana principle

If you bought unripe bananas, then by the time they ripen, they will no longer be left.

If you bought them ripe, the bananas will go bad before they can be eaten.

Thyssen Gastronomy Act

The hardness of the butter is inversely proportional to the softness of the bun.

Woodside's grocery principle

The basket in which the eggs lie always breaks.

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